Schooled - Chapter Six

SCHOOLED – CHAPTER SIX

This is the class I've been waiting for. Sculpting. This is the class I'll need the most guts for. Perhaps Sylvia will sit somewhere else, or Todd won't be there. Or maybe Sylvia will finally want to talk to me. Ugh, trying to figure this out is useless. She's ignored me all day, even going around the opposite way of school to get to the same class as me. She doesn't even want to look at me.
Damn, if she really likes Todd that much, I should just let her take him. The thought churns inside my stomach. I feel a small lump in my throat. No...I don't really like that idea.
Oh, I'm just being stupid! It's not like him and I are even dating. Plus, he said he wasn't a virgin. I don't want to be all over someone else's heart of they never gave it to me.
But maybe I'm just doing it all wrong. I've never been with someone before, maybe these things are pretty minor. Love someone. Lose friends over it. Something everyone goes through? If this is how it goes, then I'm not quite sure if I want to be normal. I hate this feeling, always wondering if Sylvia and I will patch up this friendship.
I hesitate as I enter the classroom. Everything is still the same; Sylvia across from Todd, a chair empty beside her. I slowly make my way to the chair, and Sylvia looks away when she sees me place down my bookbag. Todd looks at me, soft blue eyes that reach out to me. I have a feeling Sylvia was bad-mouthing me before I showed up.
“You don't think we missed much, do you?” I ask. Todd shakes his head.
“Everyone who already has their sculpts out seem only a little bit ahead.”
I nod and turn, then, and I begin toward the cubbies. I pull out my tray and whip around, nearly crashing into Todd. His close proximity makes me blush, especially when our eyes meet.
No. Don't think about what happened. It was bad.
He just smiles weakly, and steps aside. “Sorry.”
I move back to the table. Sylvia gets up to get her stuff, and I pull out my sculpts. The clay is a little dry; cracked and a little crusty from lack of water.
I'm about to get up for materials, but Todd comes back with some, and his tray. Once the spray bottle hits the table, I take it, spritzing down my creation.
“How does your little Nessie look?” Todd asks, taking his clay sea serpent out of his bag.
“Old,” I respond, rubbing in the clay with my trash bag. “I need to put my smock on.” I grab the large shirt laying on my tray and place it on my lap, then I snake off my hoodie, placing it over the back of my chair. The smock comes on, and I get back to my creation.
“Just try to keep wetting it down, it should become more malleable as you mess with it.” Todd slips on the clay splattered apron, and then Sylvia comes back with her project. I barely glance at her, but she gives me an angry look.
I turn my head, and look at Todd. He sighs and shrugs. We begin a silent class, sounds of others' conversations drawing us all out. I begin to sculpt, the clay sliding under my nails as I wet it down some more, turning lumps of gunk into wonderful pieces of work. At least, in my eyes. Todd's serpent is coming along a lot better than mine, and Sylvia's seahorse is...well, good, but in honest opinion, worse than mine.
“How many girls have you been with?” Sylvia asks, looking at Todd. He pauses, and kneads the clay slowly.
“Um...four, if you're counting relationships that lasted and meant something.”
“Did you sleep with all of them?” She continues. He freezes only for a moment.
“No. None of them.” He sighs and smooths out the serpent.
“I thought you said you're not a virgin?” I frown at a little and lean on my hips, pulling my hands away from the clay. He looks at me, then Sylvia, eyes hardening as if to protect himself from tears, to hide.
“I'm not.”
“You're bisexual? You screwed a guy?” Sylvia tilts her head. Todd shakes his, a little hurt.
“No, I'm straight.”
“Well, I don't see jerking off as sex, so what do you mean?” Sylvia sighs. “Maybe you're confused.”
“I was raped,” Todd says, a little angrily. “My foster father raped me when I was only thirteen years old.”
Sylvia and I just kind of look at him, and he looks away, face flushed. Oh, shit. We done goofed. We done goofed real bad. Todd looks around shiftily before getting up from his seat and making his way to the door, feet almost trudging.
“I'm going to the bathroom, Mrs. Meer.”
Our teacher reaches for her passes. “Hey! You need a pass!”
Todd doesn't respond, or look back. He exits the room and slams the door.
I relax back into my seat and sigh. “We fucked up.”
“Good thing he didn't have sex with you, it would have traumatized him.”
I growl. “He wanted to.”
I can feel a rage boiling in me for some reason. At Sylvia for being heartless, Todd for trying to sleep with me when he has this trauma, this school for putting the three of us together in a class. I'm just pissed. For lunch, I'll sneak away and hang out in the library...where no one can bug me and I don't have to deal with shit anymore.

~*~*~

ToddsAlot: i'm sorry about earlier.

I pause the video I'm watching, and I bring my mouse down to the little orange skype pop up.

Rose: Sorry I wasn't at lunch.
ToddsAlot: I wasn't there either
Rose: Oh. Well, I'm just still upset at Sylvia.
ToddsAlot: i could tell you that
Rose: Hey...I'm sorry that we bothered you earlier.

He stops messaging for a few moments, not even typing into the chat. I sigh and lean back against my chair, running my thin fingers through my hair. Oh, God. Did I screw up again just by mentioning it? I feel like I keep accidentally hurting this guy's feelings. I don't know how to keep my damn trap shut and it's starting to become ridiculous how bad I mess things up. Am I some soulless bitch who secretly likes to hurt people and fuck things up? No. Don't even deserve to be called a bitch. A soulless ROBOT or ANDRIOD sounds better. Less human. Got a switch stuck on “douche-baggery” and I can't change it.

ToddsAlot: Rose, it's no prob. you didn't know, and I understand that

I throw myself forward, nearly slamming my face into the screen of my laptop.

Rose: Okay. I'm glad I didn't upset you too much...where were you?
ToddsAlot: I was talking to my sister. she's having boy probs

I laugh a little. I almost want to say “me too.”

Rose: It's nice you help out the other kids.
ToddsAlot: she's my biological sister so I have to help her.

I pause, and hesitate to ask something, but it would bring it back around to the previous subject. I want to ask but this may be another douche move.
Fuck, just dive head in.

Rose: So, since all that happened when you were “little”, how come you decided to try to become intimate with me? It didn't scar you?

I bite the knuckle of my index finger. Oh, God. I was just going on about how I'm a big douche for bringing things up, and then I do it again. I'm disgraceful. I should just log off now and save myself from the hurt.
My door opens then, and one of my twin brothers pops his head in; messy brunette hair and teal eyes. “Rose, mom's taking us out. We'll be out for a few...days. Going to see dad.”
He closes the door, and I'm left in a cloud of confusion. Going to see dad? The only family member that cared about me, and they're going to see him without me?
I slam a fist onto my computer desk, and Todd's message comes through. I don't read it though, I just lean forward and hide my face in my hands, breaking in and weeping. My form shakes from the sobs, and I begin to taste salt as the corners of my eyes stream down warm tears.
They do this every time. They know I'll want to go somewhere, or see something, so they go, and leave me behind. I'm always left behind, forced to watch the house.
I sit and try to pull myself together for several minutes, taking deep breaths and listening closely as the car pulls out of the driveway.
Finally I look up at my screen. I can just barely read the text through blurry eyes.

ToddsAlot: I trust you more than anybody ive ever met. of course, besides my little sister.

This warms my chest, and I wipe my eyes a bit before typing back.

Rose: Really?
ToddsAlot: yes, I like you a whole lot. If you couldn't tell

I can feel my cheeks heating up. No one has ever said these things to me...let alone like me. The thought just feels strange, and it gives me butterflies. Wow, dramatic mood change.
Someone like Todd likes me? Wow.

ToddsAlot: I know yesterday was awkward. but you were right. we aren't together, and getting intimate like that was wrong.
ToddsAlot: that's why I want to ask you something.
ToddsAlot: and please don't think im asking because of just yesterday. Ive been thinking about this for a few days.

My heart is racing now and I'm shaky. It might just be left over from my crying or it's all new emotions.
My phone begins to ring, so I quickly grab it from beside my laptop and slide to unlock.
“Hello?” I ask as I bring it to my head.
Todd's voice rings in my ear from the other end. “Would you like to go out with me?”
I bite my lip to catch myself from giving an immediate answer.
“But Sylvia will-”
“What does Sylvia have to do with any of this?” Todd asks. “She'll get over it, and also she loves hanging out with Jake, so she has no room to talk if she tries.”
I swallow. He is right. She DOESN'T have room to talk. And from the sounds of it, Todd doesn't want to be anything more than a friend to her. She can be mad all she wants.
“Yes,” I answer. “I'll go out with you.”
I hear him let out a breathy chuckle. “Great. That makes me really happy.”
I smile, but my heart still aches a bit. “I'm sad, though.”
Todd hesitates, but he replies. “Did you...not want to date? I'm so sorry, I-”
“My mom and brothers are leaving for the air port. They're going to Nebraska to see my dad. I'm going to be all alone...” I don't want Todd thinking any of my sadness is his fault.
“Oh, shit...” Todd hums. “Hm. I'll tell you what.”
I listen closely for him to continue. Anything he has to offer right now has to be better than sitting alone at home.
“How about I pick you up, and you stay with me until they get back? You can pack some clothing, and your ferret, and you can stay in my room.”
I sit in silence and try to process all of this. Okay, he wants to take me away from this madness. He wants me to stay with him. In the same room. And my family can be out for at least two weeks.
“Is that not okay?” Todd sounds worried, but I hurry to get my answer out.
“No, that sounds like a great plan...but, where will I be sleeping?”
I don't want to think Todd would try to sleep in the same bed as me on the first day of getting together with me. The thought makes my stomach do hurdles.
“I can sleep on the couch in my room. You can have the bed.”
I sigh in relief. “Your foster mom would be okay with it?”
“Yeah. Completely fine. She trusts me.”
I let a smile crawl its way onto my lips. “Okay. I'll get packing.”
“And I'll be on my way.”

~*~*~

“Come up the steps real slow. Everyone's in bed now.” Todd takes my hand and guides me up the marble steps, balancing the ferret cage in his over arm against his shoulder. Zixeawl bounces around with each step, looking at me from the back of the cage. I smile at him, and he lets out a little ferret yawn. I clutch my bag closer to me, and we manage to silently make it all the way up the stairs, and we turn a corner, around the railing, and Todd pulls me through the dark hallway until pushing open a door, and flicking on a light switch. The center light comes on and shows a rather large bedroom, the walls as white and pristine as the rest of the house. The floor is a light tan-brown hardwood, with green and blue striped rugs; the bed straight ahead from the doorway. There's a step down, then towards my right there's a “living room” setting: couch, tan coffee table and a large flat screen on the back wall. A little away from the step down from the entrance area, I see his computer desk, where his laptop sits, still open. As we walk in, I can see the walls better, and I see one closed door, and one open door, showing a large bathroom, covered in darkness. The closed door must be a closet.
“This is a big room,” I say, following him over to the right wall. He places Zixeawl's cage down beside his dresser and chuckles.
“It's not too big. I try to make it was warm as possible.”
I look back at his bed. It's a double size with a  blue and white plad cover, and it just looks so inviting.
“Where should I place my stuff? I'm real tired and ready for bed.”
Todd smiles at me gently. “You can put it here beside Zixeawl's cage. You can change in the bathroom...I'll change out here. And you can have the bed.” He reaches for a blanket that is folded on the top of the couch, and he pulls it off and lays it over the seat of the couch. “I have the couch.”
I want to thank him, so much, but for right now I'm too tired. I'll leave it for tomorrow.

And when I finally come out of the bathroom, after brushing my teeth and getting into some baggy pajama clothing, Todd is by the light switch.
“I got it.”
Again, I wish to thank him, but I'm tired.
I nod and walk to the bed, where I pull the cover up and flop down onto it. The blanket covers me and I close my eyes, the bright light leaving as Todd turns it off. I hear him shuffle back to the couch and crash onto it.
“Goodnight, Rose.” He whispers. “I promise you won't be bored here.”
I let out a content purr. A hum. “I don't think I will be.”